A First and Last Christmas
by fallanydeeper
Summary: Newly-weds, Bella and Edward are spending their first Christmas together, just the two of them. Written for TwInspiration Gifts. Rated for lemons. Bittersweet.


**A/N: **This here is a very short one shot which was written for fun for Twinspiration Gifts, who make amazing Twilight inspired custom jewellery and are even branching out into other fandoms! Definitely a facebook page you need to check out because I guarantee you'll want to buy something from them.

Check them out: www . facebook . com / twinspirationgifts

So the rules for this were simple, write something Christmas related, something fun and most importantly, something sexy. Anyone who has read my work before will know that I really cannot write the fluffy stuff. It's just not me so there is a little angst in here but there's a whole lot of sexing too!

So I hope you all enjoy this teeny eeny festive cheer.

SexiBex and Jewels, this is for you. Mwah xx

**Disclaimer:** All recognizable characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. Any song lyrics belong to their respective owners. All plots and original characters belong to me, fallanydeeper. No copyright infringement intended.

**A First and Last Christmas**

**BPOV**

There are two words that you'll probably never say in conjunction, in your entire life.

I'm. Dying.

Because when you think about it, and I mean really think about it, most people don't know to say those words until it's too late and they're already gone; A freak car accident, heart attack, sudden illness. There are so many ways to find yourself at death's door, without even knowing that that's where you are.

Sure, maybe you'll be sat in a hospital bed, having a few tests here and there and you might even ask the doctors "Am I dying?" but you'll never be serious about it, you'll just think you're being melodramatic. And more than likely your doctor will alleviate your fears with soft and gentle words, still never completely answering your question. But few people will actually say those words and even if they do, even less of them will be right about it.

My name is Bella Swan. And really and truly, I'm dying. I _am_ dying.

I've been diagnosed with stage four breast cancer. My prognosis isn't good.

**EPOV**

They say that the first year of marriage is the hardest and I'd always joked with my friends and family that it was myth and marriage was only hard if you made it that way. I almost wish that I'd believed them back then, maybe if I'd been better prepared, my first year of marriage wouldn't have felt so hard.

Of course, that's just wishful thinking, because when your bride of two months is diagnosed with breast cancer, you know it's just going to get worse, every day. In the following months, we completed the five stages of grief; Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and finally Acceptance.

We've fully accepted the outcome of our lives now. Bella will be gone, watching over me, like she promised. And I will be forced to carry on without her, keeping her in my heart for every beat that it makes, just like I promised her.

As I hold her in my arms, the soft skin of her naked back pressed up against my bare chest, I realised that this will be our very last Christmas together, as well as being our first Christmas as man and wife. She was still asleep, and I was grateful for that, as I buried my face in her hair, the soft curls caressing my face, brushing away the silent tears which fell down my cheeks.

We had made a deal that there would be no tears today, no "what ifs?" and no "I wish this wasn't the end." Today would be all about making each other happy, living like it_ was _the last day of our lives together. But I couldn't deny myself the sadness which overwhelmed me while my beautiful wife slept, I loved her and I couldn't bear the thought of being without her, even for a moment.

"Stop it," she whispered. Her body was still motionless against mine. I should have known she wasn't asleep by how silent she was in my arms. "You promised me."

"I know." I wiped my face in her long locks, brushing away the last of my sadness, for the day at least.

"Eww, Edward!" she giggled as she turned in my arms to face me, her warm, petite, hand cupping my cheek. "Did you just wipe your snot in my hair?"

I smirked at her, the crooked grin which never failed to make her heart beat faster. "Maybe a little."

"You disgust me sometimes," she said, her face all kinds of serious before she broke out in a teasing grin. "Merry Christmas, Edward."

"Merry Christmas, beautiful," I replied, lowering my head to her and brushing my lips tenderly across her own. Her hand slid up my arm, hooking around my neck as she pulled me closer to her, her sweet tongue teasing its way across my lips, begging for me to open up and let her in. As if I'd ever deny her that.

My lips parted of their own accord, inviting her in. She accepted immediately, her tongue peeking inside my mouth, rubbing tentatively alongside mine, before coming bolder, melding against my tongue as the kiss deepened and became more heated.

I chuckled softly, pulling back a little, my lips still pressed gently to Bella's as I spoke. "I like how morning breath just doesn't matter as soon as you get a ring on your finger."

She gasped and jumped backward, her hand flying up to cover her mouth as she mumbled almost incoherently. "Is it really bad?"

I laughed and pulled her back into my arms, kissing the top of her head. "It tastes like you've licked the bottom of a bird cage but I've had worse," I said with a wink before rolling out of bed, stumbling toward my dresser, my legs still half asleep. "Why don't you get dressed and call your parents while I rustle us up a Christmas breakfast?"

I left Bella lounging in bed, after I'd pulled on some boxers, and headed downstairs, my bare feet slapping against the linoleum floor. Our home was in desperate need of an upgrade (that was the reason we'd bought it and moved immediately after our honeymoon). We had planned to take our time, decorating each room in turn, pulling out old fixtures and adding more modern furnishings. Bella's diagnosis had put a stop to that plan and now the house would never be renovated, at least not that Bella would ever see.

I shook my head, trying not to think about it. I was going to do everything I possibly could to keep my promise to Bella, to make today – aside from our wedding day - the happiest day of our lives.

_From this point on, I will not think about the future, just live in the moment. _I thought to myself as I set about grabbing the breakfast items from the fridge.

I lit the grill and two of the hobs, grumbling under my breath about gas appliances, something Bella had insisted we have in our home. I hated cooking with gas.

Bella strolled downstairs, wearing nothing but a bath robe as I was plating up breakfast; sausages, bacon, eggs, toast and baked beans. We were having a traditional Christmas breakfast, at least for me. That was something I had been looking forward to in marriage, my traditions meeting with Bella's until we'd created something of our own to pass onto our children…

"Stop it," Bella warned with a giggle as she sat down at the kitchen table, pulling the jug of orange juice toward her, holding it in shaking hands as she poured out a glass for each of us. I laughed at her and set a plate in front of her, her eyes widened and she licked her lips. "Do you expect me to eat all of this?"

"Eat what you can," I replied as I sat opposite her and placed my hand over hers, squeezing it gently before removing my hand and picking up my silverware, tucking into the hot food. I broke my fried egg with the tip of my knife and dipped the corner of my toast in it, taking a bite and humming with appreciation. "I may not be able to cook a roast like you, beautiful, but you can't deny I make a mean breakfast."

Bella giggled softly, taking smaller bites of her own food but mostly just pushing it around her plate with her fork. I ignored that, just as I had over the last few months when Bella's treatment had succeeded in diminishing her appetite.

"You make a gorgeous breakfast, Edward," she finally replied as she pushed her plate away, the food mostly uneaten as she leant back in her chair and raised her glass of orange juice to her lips, taking tiny sips of the liquid then licking her lips to recover the fallen drops.

I was unable to keep my eyes from the sight of her tongue passing over her plump, rosy, lips, vivid in their contrast against her pale and hallowed skin. I couldn't help the reaction she ignited in me. I am after all a man and she is still as beautiful and sexy to me as the day I met her.

"Did you call your parents?" She nodded and placed her drink back on the table as I stood and cleared our plates away, scraping Bella's uneaten food into the garbage disposal. "Are you sad that we won't be spending the holidays with them?"

"No," she said with a shrug as she stood up to, joining me at the sink and picking up a tea towel as I ran a sink of water. "We said we'd spend the day together, just you and me. Besides, we're spending boxing day with your family, which will be like Christmas all over again if Alice has anything to do with it."

"And then we're with your parents for New Year," I supplied, nodding my head as I began to wash dishes, passing them to Bella to dry and put away. I sighed and turned to rest my back against the kitchen counter. "I'm sorry, Bella."

"What for?" she asked, turning to look at me with a furrowed brow.

I shrugged and looked around us. "This doesn't feel very festive does it? It's not like Christmas when we were kids you know?"

Her face twisted into a grin. "Edward," she giggle and hit my shoulder with the towel. "You're a grown boy now, of course it won't be the same but we'll make it our own. No more stockings in your parent's bedroom, no more boisterous behaviour in the evenings with a board game. Christmas is for children really. And maybe one day when we have our own –" She stopped talking abruptly and turned away from me, clearing her throat.

"We'll make it special," I said, barely above a whisper, as I rested my hands on her hips and pressed myself up against her back, my lips on her neck, kissing softly, my breath fanning over her flesh. "We'll open our presents and then we can cook a Christmas dinner together and after we've eaten, we can curl up on the couch in front of an open fire, watch cheesy Christmas films and share some mulled wine and minced pies."

I could see her smile from the corner of my eye, her head turning minimally toward me, my lips finding hers instantly as I placed a gentle kiss on the corner of her mouth.

"That sounds like the most perfect Christmas I could ever ask for."

I smiled and tapped her gently on the behind. "I'm going to get dressed. I presume you'll be staying in your robe?" She nodded. Bella had been dressing in her day clothes less and less these days, barely able to pluck up the energy and spending most of her days at home resting on the couch in her pyjamas and blankets.

I hurried up the stairs and into our bedroom, throwing open my wardrobe doors and spreading the hangers to either side, revealing the bright red suit I'd been hiding away for weeks, praying that Bella wouldn't find it. I hadn't needed to worry, since Bella's drive had weakened lately, she'd hardly been up to doing the housework so it had been left to me to put the laundry away when I got home from work. In fact, I'd become quite the little housewife in the past few months; washing clothes, ironing, shopping, cooking (albeit badly). Yes, there was very little I couldn't do around the house now.

I grabbed a white shirt from my wardrobe, buttoning it up quickly before slipping my legs inside the red trousers and snapping the black braces onto my shoulders, holding the trousers up which were really a lot bigger than I had anticipated. The red jacket followed, buttoned up with a black belt securing it in place before I added the finishing touches, a fluffy white beard, held on with elastic and a fuzzy red hat with a white bobble on the end.

I looked ridiculous, I knew that but I also knew that it would give Bella a laugh and I longed to see her happy, today of all days. I walked slowly down the stairs, trying fruitlessly to flatten the fake beard which repeatedly rose up, constricting my view. I stepped into the living room, expecting to see Bella seated on the couch, waiting patiently for my arrival so we could open our gifts. I frowned as I stood in the doorway, looking at the heavily decorated room. Garlands hung in arcs from each corner of the room, meeting in the centre with dangling decorations hanging in the centre too. Tinsel covered the edges of photo frames and all along the mantelpiece, above the fire. It kind of looked like Christmas had thrown up in my living room but its cheesiness made me smile.

I turned toward the tree, its fairy lights blinking in a set pattern and ornaments hanging from almost every branch, pine needles scattered on the floor from the weight of the tree decorations and the fact that the conifer was starting to dry out. I cursed the beard and tried to flatten it once again, wondering where the hell my wife had gotten to.

I heard a soft giggle and a flash of flesh beneath the pile of Christmas presents under the tree and furrowed my brow, stepping a little closer. "Bella?" The presents shifted slightly as if the floor beneath them was moving and suddenly it clicked into place. That wasn't the floor that the gifts were resting on. It was my wife. A hazel covered eye blinked at me in the gap between two presents and a throaty laugh escaped Bella as she took in my outfit. "Babe, what are you doing down there?" I asked.

"Giving Santa his present," she replied, her voice muffled by the yards of wrapping paper and ribbon covering her. I laughed and knelt beside the tree, carefully removing each gift from on top of Bella, beginning at her head and slowly working my way down, swallowing as I revealed more and more of her delectable skin to my eyes, more skin than she should have had visible while wearing her robe.

Of course, Bella wasn't wearing her robe. Oh hell no, my gift from her was the most amazing present I could have ever imagined. She was my gift. Red nipple tassels and a red bow tied expertly over her sex. My mouth was salivating, just looking at her lying beneath the tree, my cock hardening and tenting the front of my ridiculous costume. Ridiculous when you compared it to Bella's anyway.

"Christ, Bella," I murmured, unintentionally leaning closer to her, my body drawn to her, always. "I don't think you're supposed to give Santa a boner."

She smirked, fricking smirked and I laughed, she'd clearly been living with me for too long. She eased herself out from under the tree and moved onto her knees before me. "I've been a very naughty girl, Santa," she whispered as her hand trailed down the red velvet covering my body, her eyes drawn to the large bulge in my pants.

"Are you sure about that?" I asked and swallowed hard as my eyes scanned over every inch of her body. The disease had weakened her and she was skinnier than I had ever seen her. Her ribs were visible, her collarbones protruding but she was still stunning to me and I refused to think of anything but me and her in this moment. Nothing else mattered. "You realise that naughty girls get a lump of coal, don't you?"

The sweetest little frown creased her brow and I placed my fingers beneath her chin, raising her eyes to mine as I took her hand in mine and pressed it against my growing erection. "I personally think that only a very good girl could get this reaction from Santa Claus." She nodded eagerly. "And since I'm Santa, I think that makes my word law."

"I agree. Are you going to open your present?" She trailed her tongue slowly over her lips, driving me insane, like always.

"I am." I nodded, my finger gently trailing the swell of her left breast. "I'm just trying to figure out which part I want to open first. You see…" My finger teased the edge of the tassel, pulling it slightly away from her skin, "I know that if I played with this area of my present, I could make my gift squeal but… If I play with this…" My palm flattened over her stomach, sliding down her body to cup her pussy in my hand, her warmth migrating to my fingertips. "I know I can make my present scream."

Bella's breath hitched, her hands moving to my shoulders, holding herself up as a shudder ripped through her body. Her hand still rested on my cock and she squeezed teasingly, emitting a low growl from me. I took her hand away and encouraged her to lie back on the soft carpet, holding both of her wrists in one hand as I placed them above her head, moving my knees to straddle her thighs. I leant down and pressed my lips softly to hers, just brushing my mouth against hers for a moment. She opened up for me and instantly my tongue was inside her mouth, teasing her, tasting her. I moaned. I couldn't help it. She tasted of her minty toothpaste and orange juice, mixed in with the natural taste that was Bella.

"God I love you," I murmured against her lips, opening my eyes to look down on her. Our gazes held, our breath mingling with the others as we continued to just stare at each other, sharing this moment together.

"I love you," she whispered back before craning her head up, forcing her lips against mine once more. We kissed slowly, the passion building before I regretfully pulled my mouth away from hers. I needed my wife, it had been so long. I brushed my lips over the soft expanse of her neck, licking, sucking and nipping gently at her skin, her taste flooding my mouth as I kissed down her body. My tongue trailed over the swell of her breasts before moving to her right nipple tassel. I took the fabric between my teeth and let my eyes fix on Bella's as I tugged lightly.

The tassel came away, revealing Bella's pink and swollen nub to my eyes. My cock twitched. The sight of her so wanton for me only served to increase my arousal. My lips surrounded her, holding her nipple tight as I swirled my tongue around her. She whimpered softly and wriggled beneath me, the ribbon covering her promise land tickling my sensitive tip through my trousers. I made quick work of releasing the other tassel and sat up slightly to look at her.

I stared at the beauty and perfection of her body, until she became self-conscious, a soft blush covering her ivory skin. "You're beautiful." I assured her, releasing my hold on her hands and bringing both of mine to her breasts, cupping them, kneading them, until she was a whimpering mess beneath me. I lowered my head once more, taking each of her nipples into my mouth, in turn, wetting them with my tongue then blowing my breath across them, watching with fascination as the pebbled further, hard and straining, the Father Christmas beard tickling at her skin. I removed it quickly and tossed it out of sight.

"Edward, please," she begged, her back arching toward me.

"I do love it when you plead," I replied with a smirk, allowing my lips to trail down her stomach, my chin grazing against the bow hiding her pussy from my view. I rolled off of her, shifting my body lower down, my face by her hips as my fingers nimbly removed the obstruction. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. The musky scent of her arousal greeted me and I unconsciously ground my hips into the floor, groaning at the friction it caused my aching member.

I parted her thighs slowly with my hands, my fingers digging into her flesh as I stared at her pussy. I wanted to take my time, savour the moment but I could feel the animal rising in me. The need to taste her and then fill her was overpowering. Without even thinking about it, her knees were hooked over my shoulders, my face between her thighs. Her scent was so heady that my eyes rolled back and I groaned.

Bella's hands moved to my shaggy hair, curling and tugging as she tried to pull me closer to her, my breath washing over her throbbing clitoris was clearly not enough. My fingers moved to prise her lips apart, her sex right in front of my face, bare and glistening for me. I rubbed her nub with my thumb, delighting in the sounds she gave before I attached my mouth to her, sucking lightly, in varying pressures. She squealed and wriggled as my fingers probed her opening, her juices already coating the tips of my fingers before I slid first one, then another inside her.

Bella gasped loudly, her back arching erotically as she chanted over and over, speaking in tongues as she pleaded for me to give her more, harder, faster. I obeyed her wishes, stroking my fingers inside her, my tongue swirling around her clit. I curled my fingers inside her, hitting that spot, which really isn't a mythical place, at the same time as nipping lightly on her clit. She cried out, her body shaking as her pussy gave a vice like clench around my fingers. I could almost feel the beat of her heart she was holding me so tight within her.

I eased my fingers from her as she relaxed back against the carpet, her breaths coming in fast and heavy pants, her chest rising and falling with the effort it took to take air into her lungs. Her eyes slowly fluttered open, dark and lust filled as she smiled lazily up at me.

"Thank you," she whispered.

I smirked and winked.

"Anytime."

"It's really quite sexy to be completely naked while you're still fully clothed." I arched an eyebrow at her and she blushed in return, mumbling. "Well it is. I feel really naughty."

I laughed heartily and sat up, quickly shedding the jacket and shirt, the black braces hanging almost down to my knees. Bella sat up with me and ran her hands over my chiselled chest. I guess I was lucky in that department. I hardly ever had to work out to keep my body in shape. I had a naturally fast metabolism and had been able to maintain a healthy looking six pack since my college days.

"Edward?" Bella whispered, looking up at me through her lashes. "I want you inside of me. I want to feel you, I want to fuck you." She moaned and closed her eyes, biting down on her lower lip as her blush increased. I knew she was picturing it, feeling it.

I stood up swiftly and kicked off the stupid red trousers, my boxers quickly following. My erection sprang free, slapping against my stomach with the movement. Bella raised herself up onto her knees, took me in her hand and tightened her fingers around my girth, slowly and teasingly stroking up and down, her thumb rubbing at my leaking slit.

She leaned forward, her tongue lapping up my pre cum and I hissed out a breath as I watched her slide the tip of my dick inside her warm and wet mouth. It had been so long since I'd felt her in this way that I was sure I'd blow my load. The sight of her taking my thick cock into her perfect mouth, her head bobbing up and down, her nose getting closer and closer to my pelvis as she took me deeper, was almost too much to bear.

She released me with an audible 'pop' and grinned up at me before laying back down again, resting her feet flat on the floor, her knees bent and spread wide. Her hand trailed down her stomach and came to rest between her legs as she teased her clit with her fingertips. I growled. It was sexy as hell to watch her touch herself but even that small act made me feel possessive. My pussy. Mine.

I was on my knees in a flash, settling between her thighs, my hand at the base of my dick as I nudged her legs further apart, pressing myself to her tight entrance and easing myself slowly inside her. I could be a gentleman in the sack and even though I was going to ride her, hard, until she was screaming my name, I still always made sure to start of gentle.

Bella loved a good hard fuck. I could probably count on one hand the amount of times we'd _made love_. But then I suppose, it's the couples view on what making love actually is. It doesn't always have to be hearts and flowers because even when I'm drilling my hips against Bella, ramming my cock deep inside her, that's our way of making love. It's what we both enjoy.

I placed one hand beside her head, my entire body towering over her, as I paused the movements of my hips, my dick deep inside my wife. Her lips sought mine and we kissed passionately before I slowly withdraw until just the head of my cock remained in her pussy. I rested my forehead to hers, looked deep into her eyes and then pushed forward with my hips once more. Bella's eyes fluttered closed as she released a tiny mewl.

Quickly I turned us over, my back to the carpet now as Bella hovered above me. She looked down at me with bright eyes and readjusted herself on top of me until she was comfortable. Her hands rested on my chest as she raised herself up before falling slowly back onto me. The heat and tightness of her pussy caused me to groan and my eyes to roll back. I heard the rustling of the tree and blinked my eyes open, laughing at the sight of Bella hanging baubles from her ears.

"Jingle balls, Edward," she giggled. And I loved to see her this way, happy and carefree. My hands went to her hips, steadying her as she leaned backward and gripped my knees, bouncing harder on my dick now. My mouth was salivating as I watched my cock slide in and out of her, being coated in more and more of her juices as she became more aroused.

She held herself up with one hand as she other moved behind her, taking my heavy sac in her hand as she squeezed gently, then gave a sharp tug. I cried out, almost shooting my load right then and looked up into the smirking face of my beautiful wife.

I sat up quickly, circling one arm around her and holding her tight to my body, my free hand moving between us, taking her clit between my thumb and forefinger. I pinched and she let out a squeak of pleasure, her head dropping back, exposing her neck to me. My lips were there in an instant, sucking on her pulse point as I continued to finger her clit and she, in turn, continued to play with my balls.

Our breathing became heavier, more laboured and I could feel the gradual tightening of Bella's pussy around my cock and the coil tightening inside my stomach. I knew that we were both _right there_, ready to release and scream and cry out in ecstasy.

"Cum for me, Bella," I begged against her neck, feeling her iron grip on my dick this time, instead of my fingers. My name fell from her lips, a breathless whisper, over and over. I held her tighter, my fingers digging into her hips, bruising her flesh, as her pussy dragged my orgasm from me. My lips crashed to hers, our kiss heated, and her mouth swallowing my cries of pleasure as I pumped my hips, riding out my orgasm.

We collapsed back onto the floor, Bella resting on top of me, her head turned to the side, her cheek on my chest. We said nothing for a long while as we simply watched the lights twinkle on the trees, neither one of us wanting to move, to break this connection that we shared in silence.

My hands casually roamed up and down her back, silent promises with each pass of my fingers over her skin.

_I love you._

_I want you._

_I need you._

_I'll remember you._

"This has been the best first Christmas ever," she whispered softly, turning her head slightly as she brushed her lips over my chest, directly above my heart.

_And the last_. I finished the sentence in my head.


End file.
